I started this blog as a way for me to share information about ADHD and other neurodiverse conditions. It’s also a way to share tips I’ve used (or would use) for managing ADHD manifestations, keeping more organized, and living a happier life.
But this morning I woke up in an anxious panic and I was wondering, “Who’s going to care? Do I sound preachy? Is the neurodiverse community going to tell me my information is wrong or my tips are ill advised? Is anyone actually going to read this? What’s the point?”
And I realized that so far, everything I’ve written has been rooted in recommending possible lifestyle changes for managing sobriety and ADHD. Which is what I wanted to do, so I’m doing it!
But I want you to know something really important. Something I haven’t said yet, that’s really at the heart of what I’m doing.
You Are Seen
I know you suffer, struggle, overwork, exhaust yourself trying to fit a picture of “normalcy”. If you’re a woman, you’re working twice as hard because society has set expectations on you to be the caregiver for everyone you know – and you’re still trying to learn to take care of yourself.
I know you cry when you’re overwhelmed, you lash out at your partner and you feel horrible but don’t know how to apologize.
I know you feel a deep-rooted sense of shame when you leave a bill sitting on your desk for weeks, with every intention to just pay it because it’s so simple, but every time you start to do it you just can’t activate yourself. So it sits, staring at you, mocking you, begging you to just be normal and pay the damn bill.
I know you wish you could sew your mouth shut and stop blurting out every thought as soon as it comes to mind. You think you’re embarrassing, “too much”, too loud, too everything.
I know you think you’re behind your peers, that you secretly call yourself childish or stunted because you think they’ve left you behind while they live out their dreams and you tread water.
I see you, and I am you. I’ve experienced all of this since I was 10 years old, and until my diagnosis I never understood why. I thought I was wrong and deficient and stupid and lazy and weak and I’ve called myself a pathetic loser on more occasions than I care to rehash.
But I want you to know something else.
It Can Be Better
Since my diagnosis, I’ve headed in a more positive direction. And not because I’ve unlocked some amazing secret to magically overcoming all of my “deficiencies”.
I’m taking medication, but it doesn’t cure everything and I have a lot of days where I struggle.
I know it’s not just me, it’s ADHD, and sometimes I can’t help how I come across or behave or manage my time. But it’s okay because my existence is not about pleasing everyone around me. It’s about making myself happy.
I talk too much! But I have a lot of interesting things to say.
I cry a lot! But I know how to feel my feelings and I don’t bottle up my emotions in an unhealthy way.
I lash out at my partner! But now I can understand and discuss what’s the truth behind my sudden burst of anger.
I have little sense of time! But it means I can spend endless time on my hobbies and interests, or solving difficult problems at work.
I know who I am, and I recognize that my difficulties aren’t always a barrier to success. There are so many parts of my ADHD that have molded my life and personality in interesting and unique ways and I wouldn’t change it for anything.
Why Join Me?
I am not a shiny perfect person. But I’m finally learning that the way I live my life isn’t wrong by any means. And I want you to know, that you’re already amazing, too. You’re creative and smart and fascinating and wonderful, and you’re bringing a little extra glitter into this world just by existing.
Join me here if you want to learn more about ADHD and how to manage it, learn about other comorbid conditions, follow my sobriety journey, or just focus on trying to be a little happier every day. Not every strategy will work and that’s okay. I can accept that I can’t be everything for everyone.
The most important goal of this blog is that I do my part to make the world see how important we are. And you know I’ll do my best to make that happen.